Дата публикации: 2017-08-13 16:12
Sadly if that's the case for a lot of girls getting so many messages, I can understand why so many of us guys struggle on these sites to get replies.
Life is tough after 55 years of age. Over 7/8 of the divorces after age 55 are initiated by the women, as my ex-wife did. So guys, treat her right.. and still hope for the best. I suspect, that once a woman's estrogen drops and the kids have flown the nest, then women's innate sense of maintaining that nest flies away as well. Women naturally become more independent and more critical of whatever it is that they want the husband to do. Funny thing is, I did all the man's kind of work like mowing the lawn and such, and always did the housework stuff like bathrooms and the laundry, but to no avail.
In this case, since it would make her happy to get a message like that from a guy who she's REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY interested in to begin with, she interprets sending that sort of simplistic message as being a good standard move that ALL guys will have a lot of success with.
I think that a large part of the problem with online dating is how we view ourselves and others. The vast majority of profiles I've seen read like job applications. It seems as if a healthy smattering of keywords is all that is required to share who we are as individuals. The majority of profiles are as similar as mainstream medias concept of beauty. In the end there isn't much to differentiate one profile from another.
I really feel bad for a lot of people who are in it for all the right reasons and keep getting ignored. I guess all you can do is keep trying and hope for the best.
My motto is: Never message a girl who you would not approach in public. I know my boundaries and I'd never even go near a supermodel-ish girl in public, so why try it online? I think that's one of the biggest mistakes that guys make. They're always trying to pursue outside of their league. I'd like to say that by keeping your expectations realistic, you'll have better success. But I'm not even sure if that's accurate anymore.
The trend I see in most of the comments is Women siding with women and men siding with men, with few exceptions. Lots of people list personal anecdotes and use it it to generalise to what the real issue is.
And this faulty cognition was of course reinforced by the messed up social inequality we lived with for so long, whereby women would suffer unattractive men because they had so few realistic economical options. Which left a lot of men thinking they honestly had an entitlement to or hope with women who are far more attractive than they are, when independently rated.
Online dating is not really much different from meeting people IRL it's just another method. Keeping that in mind, if you're the kind of person who gets attention offline, you'll most likely get it online. If you struggle socially offline, things won't magically change because you're online.
I want to approach women in the real world, but I get in my own way as a shy nerdy introvert who has a roommate (read, doesn't have a private place to take a girl back to, if they were so inclined). It's a lie that there's someone out there for everyone. After all, if that were true, there wouldn't be so many lonely people out there. Guess I need to just drop the sites and focus on trying to make myself happy in life without romance.